PARODY: One Day in the Life of Ivan Jonesobitch

 

‘It is my sad duty to report that the subject still prefers to live in a place where surreal leaps of logic enjoy considerably more engagement in his mind than more empirical neoliberal arguments….for example, trickle-down wealth, the obvious economic push given by the wealthy few, deregulation of financial markets and so forth. I would strongly recommend that his parole be denied’.

Both men went to sleep that night secure in the sense of having won. Which, in a way, they had.

Only humanity had lost.

For the record, I am not a racist, a communist, a fascist, a globalist, a socialist, a sexual orientation bigot, a neoliberal or a nationalist. I am an entrepreneurial communitarian mutualist who believes in offering the greatest fulfilment and responsibility to the greatest possible number of people.

 

Vintage Slog.

The Slog.

owenjonesovitch Prisoner of the State 1984LGBT Ivan Jonesobitch searched in his morning bowl of alphabetti soup for some small morsel of substance that might help him struggle through another day of Nazi-smashing. In front of the prisoners, carrying the whip that defined his power over the unfortunates (the sight of which gave little Ivan a frisson of delayed gratification) was the former BBC know-all and now Camp Ubersturmbannfuhrer Andrei Brillochev.

Ivan had always disliked Andrei and the BBC Gang of Four for the way in which – week in, week out – they had bombarded the poor peasants of Jackboot Britannia with vicious lies about the scrupulously democratic People’s Red Army of Momentum, while ignoring the huge and growing mobs of fascist stormtroopers in total denial about a Britain riddled with Islamophobics scheming round the clock to smear the Muslim Legions of Peace.

But the final straw came when Brillochev had…

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